The Thing I Never Expected on the Day I Hoped Would Never Come
by Stomei97
Summary: "Maybe if you were more like your brother, I would care! Maybe if you were more like your brother I would still love you!" When Spain says a few wrong things in a fight with Romano, he doesn't realize how much it could actually change his life forever. Rated T for language, Multiple Chapters. Full warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1: Regrets

**WARNINGS**

**Pairings: Spamano, hinted GerIta  
Angst/Character Death  
Language (Lovi has a beautiful tongue (not a euphemism) )  
Human Names Used  
They are still Nations, by the way.**

**A/N: Wow, two new stories in less than a week! I feel like I am on a roll or something. So, I was reading some angsty stuff (I am an emotional masochist, sue me(don't really, please J) ) and this kinda came up as an idea. So, yup! This will probably be about three chapters max. Or something like that. This gives me a chance to work on something other than humor and seriousness. (I am bad at writing Lovi and Antonio fighting, I realized. Just a heads up.) This will end happily, I promise. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

**Antonio's POV, Present Day**

* * *

I don't know how it started.

_"Goddammit, Antonio!"_

I don't know who started shouting first. I think it may have been me.

_ "There you go, swearing at me again!"_

I don't even remember _why_ we were fighting to begin with.

_ "What do you fucking care! I always do, I always have!"_

I do know, though, that the next few words out of my mouth, I regret. I always will, too.

_"Maybe I don't care anymore!"_

I do know how his face crumbled in shock and disbelief.

_ "W-What? What are you talking about…?"_

I still don't know what caused me to say everything.

_"Maybe if you were more like your brother, I would care! Maybe if you were more like your brother I would still love you!"_

The way his face had contorted in pain. Then, the way he fixed his façade. The mask that hides all of his emotions. The sound of the door as he slammed it behind him.

_It still haunts me to this day._

* * *

**After the Fight, Two Months Prior (Still Antonio's POV)**

I just stood there staring at the door. Maybe I should call after him and tell him I didn't mean it…

_No, he needs to learn tough love once in a while. I need to be firm…but did I cross the line by bringing in Feliciano?_

I really can't think about it now…maybe I should sleep first? Yeah, I'll do that…Just, sleep on it.

Should I call him first? No. No, Antonio. Be strong. You can do this. Talk to him when you wake up, let him cool off. Both of you may say something you will regret.

_But, I already said something I can't take back…I still love him, with all of my heart._

_I hope he does know that despite my foolish words…_

I'm going to call him. I don't want him to do anything stupid.

_Lovi wouldn't do that! There's no way! Just call him when you wake up!_

I sigh, giving in to my conscience. I collapse on my bed, noticing how cold it felt without my little tomato here before falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I am woken up by knocking on my door. I groan, getting out of bed. "I'm coming, I'm coming…."

When I open the door, I see Francis and Gilbert, my best friends, standing in the doorway. Gilbert slaps me on the back. "Go get dressed, Toni! We're going out tonight!"

"Wh-what! Gil, it's only…" I look at the clock. "Five' o clock. How did I manage to sleep the whole day away?" It was probably since Lovi and I were fighting waaaaay early in the morning and it just drained me… "Oh! I gotta call Lovi!" I glance at the two of them. "By the way, why didn't you guys call first?"

Francis laughs. "We did. You never answered."

I run to check the phone. Dead. Of course. Along with my cell phone. I sigh and place both on their chargers. I'll call him later, then…

It doesn't take me long to get ready, and within moments, the Bad Touch Trio is walking into one of the many bars in the city.

After about an hour, Francis's phone starts ringing. "Bonjour~! Ah! Feli! Why are you calling me?...Yes, he's with me…his phone's dead. Uhm…okay?" He hands me the phone. "Feli wants to talk to you for some reason."

I take the phone from Francis. "Hola, Feliciano! What's up?" I ask, hoping that the guy won't yell at me for hurting Lovi. Despite his timid looks, he gets pretty scary when people screw with him brother.

However, my heart stops a beat when I hear his sobbing. "Feli? What's wrong?"

_"I-It's Fratello! He-He"_

"He what? What did Lovino do?!" I'm trying to ignore the fear in my chest.

_"Fratello's in the hospital! He tried to kill himself!" _I tune out the rest of what he is saying.

Lovi is in the hospital. Because he tried…killing himself?!

I drop Francis's phone and run to my car, ignoring both of their calls for me to come back.

Only one thing is on my mind. Lovi hurt himself. _Because of me._

However, when I get to the hospital, it's already too late. _Lovi is dead._

_Lovi killed himself. Because I was an idiot. Because I said the wrong thing and didn't immediately call him back and hold him close._

_This is all my fault. Feli is sitting on the ground, with Germany soothing him. I want to go over there and tell him I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't face Feliciano. Not after what I did to Lovi._

_Not after I pretty much killed him. I gave him the reason, the purpose. I gave him the gun and bullet, and even though I didn't pull the trigger, I still killed him._

_I lost my love. _

_And it is all my fault he died._

* * *

**A/N: So, that's the first chapter. Only the first. I feel I rambled a bit too much at the end there. I'm hoping to have chapter two up and posted soon, and depending on the feedback I get on this is about how long I make this story.**

**So tell me what you guys thought of this and such! Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2: Why?

**A/N: Hello~! So, new chapter (Yay!) Since I know how this ends, it will be updated pretty fast. Also, if there is enough interest I may do a few chapters going back to the beginning and doing it from Feli and Lovi's POV's. **

**By the way, we are saying that Antonio has his own personal bar in his house. It works for the story. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

**Antonio's POV, Three Days after Lovino's Death….**

* * *

I slam my head into the bar, while clutching my drink. "I loved him so much!" I slur out. I feel a hand rub my back as I felt the sobs wrack through my body.

"I know, mon ami." Francis said.

"Ja," Gilbert pipes in. "And I like beer as much as the next guy, but you shouldn't be drinking like this, Toni."

"I'm fiiiiiiine, Gilbert."

"Antonio, you've been drinking non-stop since you got back from the hospital."

"Your point is…?"

"Even for a Nation, that isn't good for you." Gilbert has a look of concern in his face.

Eventually, Gilbert pulls me off of my bar stool. "Nooooooooo!" I yell lamely, trying to get back to the alcoholic beverage. "Francis, help meeeeeeee!"

Francis shakes his head. "I'm sorry, mon ami. But this is what's good for you.

As the two of them drag me down the hallway, I notice a figure following us closely. "L-Lovi? Lovi! I knew it! I knew you weren't dead! Gil! Francis! It's Lovi! Can't you see him behind us?"

Both of them stop and look behind us. However, neither could see him. I shake my head in disbelief. "You guys can't see him…?" They continue to drag me to my bedroom, mumbling about too many drinks and about locking up my booze.

* * *

**Three Days Later**

After the incident where I thought I had seen Lovi, Gilbert and Francis barely let me out of their sight. Probably worried I would do something stupid.

Maybe I wanted to. Maybe I didn't. Who knows what could happen?

However, Gil and Franny often slept in rooms just down the hall, but not in the actual room. I had discovered this a while ago, so I started sneaking things in there. Alcohol, stuff like that.

At one point, I even brought in a knife. I don't really know why, but it caught my attention. So I grabbed it.

And, when I spot it next to my last bottle of wine (it's all I could access), I grab it, examining the blade.

My body moves on its own as I place it next to my wrist. _What are you doing, Antonio?_ I hear my conscience speak to me.

A tear slides down my cheek. "I'm going with him. I going to join him." Just before I move the blade, a cold hand stops me.

I follow it up, noticing the dried blood on the wrists. I see the blood on the worn shirt. I bring myself to look into the face of Lovi. His face is pale, with a trail of blood leading down from his lip. He shakes his head. "No, Antonio. Don't do that. Please."

I shake my head, tears slipping from my eyes finally. "I'm sorry, Lovi! I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean any of those things I said! I love you so much, that I can't live without you!"

"I know." He takes the knife from my hand and throws it down on the ground with a loud clang. "And I forgive you. I understand now that it was just a fucking slip of the tongue, and you didn't mean it. But just hang, _please. _For me."

I grab his hands. "Why! Why would you do this, Lovi! Why would you leave me alone!"

He pulls his hands from mine slowly. "I'm sorry, Antonio." Just then the door opens and Gilbert and Francis enter the room. They see the knife and the wine bottle, and immediately move towards me. Lovi smiles one of his rare smiles, but it looks so damn _sad._ "And you aren't alone. You have your idiot friends with you still and they care about you just as much as me." He leaves through the open door.

"Lovi! Wait! Lovi! ¡No vayas! Por favor! No me dejes otra vez! No puedo vivir sin ti mi tomate, mi amor! Por favor! LOVINO!" I scream after him.

* * *

**One Month later, Lovino's Funeral**

Francis and Gilbert didn't let me be alone at all since I saw Lovi last.

And then, the day of Lovi's funeral arrived. I don't think I'm ready for it. I'm not ready to see my tomato placed six feet under.

But, Franny and Gil insist, saying that it would help ease the pain. I just don't see how.

* * *

Pretty much every nation is here. Lovi would be amazed to see how many people had come to see him off. He thought everyone hated him.

It's a closed casket ceremony; Feliciano didn't want anyone to see his brother with tattered wrists. I'm almost glad; I don't think I could see him like that. Not again.

Through the whole ceremony, I sat there dazed. I couldn't fathom going through life without my little Lovi. I could pass on the personification of Spain to someone else. I can't handle not having my tomato anymore.

Feliciano stands up by the podium, ready to give his final words to his brother. He had obviously been crying a lot, judging by his red eyes and nose, along with how his curl looked, being all…un..normal and disfigured. He clears his throat, trying to probably will away his tears. "Thank you all for coming out here today. I think if Fratello was here to see how many people were here at his funeral, he would be shocked…" Feliciano kept talking, but I lost train of thought. Did the casket…_move?!_

Feliciano then moves to open the lid of the casket. The second he does, he moves aside to let us see his brother's body. I thought he wanted it to be closed the whole time?

Soon, however everyone gasps when Lovi sits up. "Thank you, fratello, for finally opening that thing. I thought I was going to suffocate." My jaw drops. I'm in shock as Lovi walks up to the podium, fixing his tie. He clears his throat and laughs nervously. "Now before you guys panic and start calling me a zombie, a yes, I'm looking at you, America, let me explain this."

* * *

**Translation: Lovi! ¡No vayas! Por favor! No me dejes otra vez! No puedo vivir sin ti mi tomate, mi amor! Por favor! LOVINO!-** **Lovi! Don't go! Please! Don't leave me again! I can't live without you my tomato, my love! Please! LOVINO!**

* * *

**A/N: Yeah. Angsty-ness in the beginning. Everything will make sense in the next chapter! And I have decided, whilst writing this, that Feli and Lovi will get their own chapters in this story to see exactly what happened and how they react to it all. **

**So, leave a review, telling me what you guys thought, please! Chapter three is on its way~!**


	3. Chapter 3: Not Dead!

**A/N: So this chapter will summarize everything, but the next few chapters will go into the details. Since that is how this is, this chapter is super short. However, this will all be closed with an epilogue. Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Antonio POV**

I risk a look at Feliciano, who is staring right at me. Is…is he…_smirking_ at me?! I didn't realize that he even _could_ smirk!

Wait.

Feliciano _knew _about this the whole time?!

Lovi's voice pulls me back to him. "Wow…Feli wasn't exaggerating that there's a lot of you…Holy shit. I was only expecting a few people, heh. Well, this will be awkward…" He rubs the back of his neck. "Well, I never died. I faked my death."

"Why?!" A voice from the back cuts out, who I instantly recognize as England. "You do realize that there was a huge amount of people who were impacted by this, right?"

Lovino narrows his eyes at him. "Eyebrows, there is only one person who I really need to explain the full story to, and you are not him. Nor do I want to explain everything to the whole fucking world. Despite that, I didn't realize that it would affect this many people. And if I caused an inconvenience, I'm sorry."

Did Lovi just apologize? Well then…

"There is one reason that I will disclose with you all. This was a test, for someone here."

Suddenly, I am lifted from my seat and brought up next to Lovi. I look at the two next to me. "You guys _KNEW_?! " I all but scream at Gilbert and Francis.

"Oui. But we also knew the reason he did all this." Francis says to me.

I look at both of them. "That was such an asshole move, you guys! Not cool!"

Lovi looks at me. "They wanted to stop it. But I told them that they had to keep you alive until the funeral." He inhales. "As I said, this was a test. A test for Antonio. And you passed it."

I look at him, beginning to notice the lack of swearing. "Wh-wh-what?" Is all I can manage to get out.

He sighs and pulls out a box. "Just before you ask, this whole, faking my death thing was all Feli's idea. This, however," he says as he opens the box, revealing a golden band, "was my idea."

I stare at the box, totally confused. "What?" I say again.

Lovino rolls his eyes. "Goddammit bastard! Will you marry me?" He says, his face oh so very red.

I stare at him. "This…this was all just an elaborate proposal?!" I say, shocked.

He nods. "Yeah…I guess it really was. Now will you answer me?"

I take the box from his hand and pull him into a tight hug. I hold him so close. "Lovi, I could never live my life without you. I realize that now. So my answer is yes!"

The room is silent for a second before the room erupts in applause.

Suddenly a pair of arms go around me and Lovi. "Group hug!" Feli screams. Soon enough, almost the whole world is hugging everyone. It really was the happiest funeral I had ever been too.

It was truly the thing I had never expected on the day I had hoped would never come.

* * *

Soon, everyone leaves the little church but me and Lovi. I glance at him, smiling. "So, Lovi, what was this 'test'?" I ask, happy that he's alive, but still unhappy that he pulled such a mean test.

He sighs. "Well…after…after our fight, I went back to Feli's house, thinking he was with the potato bastard. I was actually fully intent on killing myself that night, however Feli walked into the bathroom right before I could do anything. After I talked to him for a bit, cause we both know that little shit wouldn't have let me off with just saying it's nothing. Anyway, after I talked to him, he suggested to test you." He rubs the back of his neck. "Heh, I was actually planning on proposing the night we were fighting…it was our anniversary, after all."

I hit him in the shoulder with mine. "I really am sorry about everything I said, you know. I didn't mean any of it. Not a single word of it. I still love you, and when I thought you died…" I decided not to tell him about trying to kill myself and seeing his 'spirit'.

He looks at me. "I know, and I do forgive you, Tonio. I do. A I know how you were when I was 'dead'. I stayed in the house, but France and Prussia had to pretend to not see me the whole time."

I nod my head. Then it hits me. "Wait. So you were…so every time I thought I…wait, you saw me…?" So many unanswered questions I just couldn't formulate.

"Yes, you big dummy." He smacks me on the back of my head. "And dammit, Antonio, if you try to hurt yourself like that again, I will leave you. I don't want to see you like that again, you wouldn't believe how hard it was to just stand by and watch you suffer, to not be able to go up to you and wipe off all the make-up and say that I'm still here, I'm still _alive._"

I lay my head on his shoulder. "Then don't leave me. And please don't do that again. I don't think I can take it."

He laughs slightly. "I won't. I promise, tomato bastard."

A thought hits me. "Hey, Lovi, who all knew about this?"

He shrugs. "Not many, actually. Prussia and France, obviously. Feli knew cause it was all his idea and he told the damned potato."

I nod. "Wait, Germany knew?!"

He laughs slightly. "Not to my pleasure. But, he and Feli are so close, that Feliciano would have spilled eventually." He stands. "Come on, let's go."

I smile at him. "Yeah."

Just before I leave the building, a hand stops me. I turn to see Feliciano there. "Fe-Feli! I thought you left with Germany."

He shrugs. "I told Luddy I would catch up with him after I talk to you."

I brace myself. I knew this conversation would be coming, hence why I successfully avoided him for a month. Feli looks up at me, his usually humorous and warm eyes very cold. "If you do that to Fratello again, I _will_ hurt you. This was a warning, big brother Toni. I don't like thinking about what could have happened if I wasn't happened that night. Don't push him that far again." He suddenly thinks of something and smiles. "Oh! And Fratello doesn't need to know about this either." He waves at me before leaving. "Ciao~!"

I laugh nervously as I watch the small Italian walk down the stairs. When I sit next to Lovi in the car he turns to me. "What did my brother say?" He asks me.

"Heeeeeh, it was nothing. Just congratulating us." I turn to him and smile, starting the car. "Let's go home."

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was actually a lot longer than I had thought. Heh. Anyway, the next two chapters will be from the Italian's POV. It just lets you get a more detailed view of everything.**

**And I really do think that Feli would flip out on someone if they hurt Lovi. They are brothers. **

**I write lame proposals…..**

**Anyway, tell me what you guys thought and such! Bye!**


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